We need to rekindle our bromance
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?