So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.