...so i touched it.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.