I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
