What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
