He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
