drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
