After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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