Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
