This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
