I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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