She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
