apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
