He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
