Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
