3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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