I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
