so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
