Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
