I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
