You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
