Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
