ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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