The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Randomize
