Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Don't make out with my wife yet
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
