I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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