just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
White coat. Heels.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
