My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
