The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
