that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
