OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
