giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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