So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
