I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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