you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize