In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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