Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
