I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
