He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I wish I only lived at night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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