BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
