I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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