know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
