If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
