um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
