Don't you send me to vm
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
