So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Boobs are out for the taking
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
