she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His nipple licking is glorious
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