ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
