honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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