We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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