the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
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he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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