no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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