Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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