Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize