no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
