u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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