a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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