he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
