So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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