Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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