I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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