Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
