'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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