how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
