If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
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He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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