genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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