i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
