5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
