I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize