kristin has been a bad kristin
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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