God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
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You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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