i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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