Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
