you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
