I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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