it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
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I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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